I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
And then my night got REAL pukey
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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