Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize