after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
