Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize