i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I think people are normalizing furries
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
