I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize