This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
