Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
