the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
