if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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