He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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