i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
