tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Randomize
