Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
