Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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