508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
