I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
