You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
