Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
