you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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