nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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