That's intense
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
