It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
