dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Did you pee in the oven last night??
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
