She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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