New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
