i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize