This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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