Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
