Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
