covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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