May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
