she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
