OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
