I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
You're breaking my sexual little heart
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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