I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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