why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
