can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
