I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
