I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize