I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
