hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
