I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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