nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
he was CRYING into my vagina
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
