stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
im six kinds of drunk right now
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
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