It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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