just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
