You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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