I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
