Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
