i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
