Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Randomize
