He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
