At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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