You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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