I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
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