He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
