He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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