what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
