dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I want to fling myself into the sun
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
