Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I would fuck him just for his dog
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