Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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