hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
