If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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