If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
